June 13 - Shut up and listen!

Read: Proverbs 18 -- select verses

Context: More wisdom, presumably from Solomon. I've pulled out the verses that relate to listening or being there for your friends (I also just HAD to include verse 22...)

Text;
2 A fool finds no pleasure in understanding
but delights in airing his own opinions.
6 A fool's lips bring him strife,
and his mouth invites a beating.
7 A fool's mouth is his undoing,
and his lips are a snare to his soul.
8 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels;
they go down to a man's inmost parts.
13 He who answers before listening—
that is his folly and his shame.
14 A man's spirit sustains him in sickness,
but a crushed spirit who can bear?
15 The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge;
the ears of the wise seek it out.
16 A gift opens the way for the giver
and ushers him into the presence of the great.
17 The first to present his case seems right,
till another comes forward and questions him.
21 The tongue has the power of life and death,
and those who love it will eat its fruit.
22 He who finds a wife finds what is good
and receives favor from the LORD.
24 A man of many companions may come to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (NIV)

taken from www.biblegateway.com

Why is it so hard to listen to someone else? Instead, we always want others to listen to us...and we get frustrated when it doesn't happen. Hmmm...bet the feel the same way!

It seems like it is hardest to listen to someone we think we know well. We've been around our spouses, children, siblings, and parents most of our lives and often we 'know' what they are going to say because we've heard it several times before. But have we really heard? I bet that if the other person believed that you fully understood his/her position and had demonstrated this in some way, he or she wouldn't have to repeat it to you so many times!

Maybe we know the words, and even the emotions, behind someones feelings, but until we can demonstrate that we understand the impact of these things to a person's life, we really haven't listened. Pretty soon, the person who is telling you about their concerns begins to feel that you don't care.

I bet each of us has a person that we dread talking to because all they do is complain. When you get a call from this person, what do you do? I hesitate to admit that the first thing I do when I get this call is pull up a crossword puzzle off the internet and proceed to solve it, adding in an occasional 'supportive comment' in the conversation when it seems warranted. It's hard to listen because I feel like I've heard it all before....MANY times.

In reality I'm cheating myself and I'm cheating the person who called. I'm passing up an opportunity to become much closer to another one of God's creations, and I'm not paying enough attention to even be able to pray for the other person's true concerns. I think I know all the answers to the problem, and I 'know' that if they would just take certain actions everything would be ok.

Our challenge today is to really listen to someone around us. Don't make suggestions, don't admonish, don't create a grocery list in your head. Listen as if you are going to have a pop quiz on the other persons words when the conversation is over. Seek to really understand what they are saying and feeling. Learn something new about them...and don't tell them anything about your story unless they ask!